so i've been sitting here for the last hour contemplating my future. i don't really know what the fuck is going to happen, but i do know that whatever happens, i wont have any money with which to do it. i worked 50 hours last week, all of which is going towards school. the kicker is i could do that every week and still not make enough money to go to school.
Between that job and my two others, i worked nearly 70 hours last week. the money from my other two jobs goes straight to gas and my fucking jeep, which was nearly totalled(along with myself) when some jackass decided to be in my lane one morning, hitting me with his driver's side mirror and destroying my windshield. 250 bones down the toilet.
On top of that, when i get home i get to listen to my mom bitch at me for not doing one of the following: the dishes, my laundry, getting my oil changed, fixing her husband's trailer, walking her dogs, or (my personal favorie) giving her the correct attitude.
Im sick and fucking tired of having to live up to everyone else's expectations. I cant rely on anyone besides myself to get shit done, because whenever i need a favor the other person just so happens not to be able to do it. so i get to work my ass of all day, have no money to have fun in the damn summer, and get yelled at by my parents.
They tell me in one breath how proud they are of me and everything, then in the next tell me how much i need to change, making me feel like an awful human being. I've never met two people so good at complimenting me at the beginning of a sentence and tearing me down by the end of it.
I guess i just cant win with anyone anymore. Seems like no matter what i do in life someone ends up pissed at me. i could come home with a million dollars and my mom would find a way to make me a spoiled brat, ungrateful son, or point out that i put my priorities out of whack in some way.
I just want to be 19 and have some fun while im not in school. I've never wanted to go back to school and worry bout homework so bad in my life. i cant even laugh at TV at this point, and that hasn't happened in a while. i spose it could be worse, i could be unemployed and have no chance whatsoever to go to school. Oh, wait, i may have no chance anyway.
Maybe i should just join the fucking Army, go to Iraq and escape it all. At least if i get yelled at there i'll know i deserved it.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
you know what they say...
ReplyDelete"if mount everest was like frodo in life...then everyone would be like exploding fireworks."
am i right?