Suburban State of Mind

Steven Colbert is just hilarious. He had Alicia Keys on The Colbert Report, and she performed her version of Empire State of Mind, which in on her new album. Fast forward to roughly 4:42 to listen to Colbert's take on Empire State of Mind. I was actually impressed with his flow.

ak on TCR
by yardie4lifever2

wish i was from a suburb in new york

It's the Situation

It's called Jersey Shore, and it just might be the most compelling television ever produced by MTV. So meet the cast members of this new show. But be warned, you may just be overcome with the desire to gel your hair afterwords. Or do an ab workout.



Wishing I was a Guido,

the whitest kid you know

PS: finals suck. but you knew that already.

eminem leak

he sounds like less of an arab in the new songs for Relapse: Refill. he also calls out lance bass, clay aiken, and adam lambert. and no, he does not call them faggots. its: "Sorry, Lance, Mr. Lambert and Aiken ain't gonna make it/ They get so mad, when I call them both fake/ It's all these f---ing voices in my head, I can't take it/ Someone shut that f---ing baby up, before I shake it."



i think this might be better than any song on the original Relapse.

high class

just watch the first few minutes of this video. it'll show you how some people are.



dude baseball swings at the goalie and just skates away without concern. piece of shit. isnt gonna get suspended either.

PS: on a funnier note, if you havent done so yet, check out Between Two Ferns on funnyordie.com. it's definitely worth your while.
http://www.funnyordie.com/search/a?q=between+two+ferns&commit=Search

break

so here's the thing. i suck. at pretty much everything. it'd be cool if that changed. since it probably wont, i'd settle for a break from school. lucky me, thanksgiving is next week (who knew?). i dont really need to go home, just need to not have to go to class every day. it's not that theyre hard. i just dont want to go. see, i suck.

but i feel like everyone is at that point where they need a break from each other. you know, that point where u just cant stand that sight of your roommates, or take any more of their ever-increasingly annoying habits--habits that under normal circumstances wouldn't annoy u in the least. it happens, and dont tell me it doesnt. you just have to be careful to not let it eat you up and make you resent them.

next week will be a welcome break in more than one way. only problem is, when i go home, if i hang out with anyone, it likely will be the people i hang out with here.

maybe i wont go home.

nahh. i want to pretend im not an independent college student for a few days and have my mommy buy me things and cook for me. its gonna be awesome.

PS i want so bad to talk about NASCAR with someone it might kill me. ur probably snoozing at this point, with the mention of NASCAR (there it is again... WAKE UP!), but for those of you still with me, it really is killing me. no one here cares about it, and a lot of shit has happened in the last few weeks. oh well. maybe ill start a racing blog.

think anyone would read it? (its ok if you say no.)

anyway, that's my time folks. JAY-DAY out.

real or not?

this shit is bananas. idk if its real or fake, but it looks pretty real to me. that Cirque du Soleil shit is intense.

so... yea

i was told by a friend once that writers need to write. i agree with him. but lately i haven't had much to write about. at least not about anything that people aside from racing fans would care to know. kind of like right now. i dont really have much to say. it sucks.

so, instead, ill give you travis barker's latest remix. he remixes the Drake/Kanye/Lil' Wayne/Eminem song Forever. i continue to be amazed by his talent.




also, pirate radio hits theatres friday. looks worth the $7.

blinkumentary trailer 2

cannot wait for this to come out.

LOVE leak

this is the demo of a song from Angels and Airwaves upcoming LOVE album. It's gonna be kick ass once it's done. this one is called riot(epic holiday).

thank you, Dr. John Clarke

if you didn't know correct H1N1 prevention, this man has your answers.

iowa state football celebration

pure emotion after the win at nebraska. if this doesnt give u chills ur not human. (or ur not an iowa state fan. whatever.)

the mark, tom and travis show

rediscovered how awesome blink was back in the day.

more than i am

i wish i was more than i am. im lazy, unambitious, and totally undeserving of the good things in my life. i want to change, but i know i wont. i think im a good person, but that i waste what i have.

i hate complaining, and im sorry i do it--yet i do it all the time. i hate whining about my problems and doing nothing to change them. truth is my problems arent all that bad. im just jealous of what other people have, i guess. i see a good friend and the girl he loves, and as hard as i want to just be happy for them that theyre happy, i cant help but feel sick with envy every time i hear them tell each other they love one another. i see a friend write beautiful, touching words about his best friends, and their special day, and instead of simply being happy and inspired, im once again lost in jealousy. jealous that i dont have friends who inspire me. jealous i dont have a best friend.

i long to be the most important person in someones life. i long for the day when im the one they come to first, before anyone else in the world, for anything. to know that someone trusts me completely, and couldnt go a day without talking to me. every day of my life, theres always been someone else more important than me to the people i care about. its the most selfish thing ive ever wanted. its also something i want more than anything.

there are days where i think the only people that will cry at my funeral is my family. like, people would be sad, but theyd move on in a day or so. like, do i really affect anyones life in such a positive way that they really would be affected if i wasnt around? i know its stupid but i just dont think, other than my family, that anyone really needs me. im just the filler. the extra. the butt of the joke. the easy target.

here i am again, complaining. here i am again, telling the two or three people who read this some sob story about how i wish my life was so much different. im sorry. i wouldnt blame you if ud stopped reading this halfway through the third paragraph.

and no, this isnt me crying out for help or anything like that. its just me venting about the stupid thoughts that run through my brain at 1:30 in the morning, when my roommates are asleep and im alone with my thoughts. so i'll go to bed, wake up in the morning and go to class, and go on living my life. and while im walking to class, ill listen to music and think about shit that doesnt really matter, or could never happen. and when the music stops, and the fantasy world of the song is gone, ill be right back to reality. and inevitably, ill be disappointed.

i sincerely hope you cant relate to any of this. and if you cant, youre one more person im jealous of.

so i wish i was more than i am. i wish i was above all the pettiness that runs my life. i wish i could savor the moments, because the memories are fleeting. because i know i only get one go-round. and lifes to short to spend it wondering what if. so i wish i was more than a guy who wonders what if all the time.

i wish.





PS i wouldnt blame you if you were sick of hearing my sob stories. i know ive written this same blog many times in different forms. im sick of me too.

lazy

havent had much worth saying for the past few weeks. kind of in that lull of fall where nothings really important enough to go out and do.

speaking of fall, what the hell happened to it? we went straight from summer to winter. im willing to guarantee that the temp hasnt gone above 40 in two weeks. that sucks. makes me realize how stupid i was to stay in a cold weather climate for college. also makes me realize how stupid i am that i havent purchased gloves or a stocking hat of some type yet. whatever.

i just wish i could lay around the apartment all day during this weather. you know, when its too cold to go outside and do anything, and class is even less desirable. itd be pretty sweet if i ever got a class cancelled too. i've never had one cancelled. ever.

but class is over. more later.

rainy day

ever notice how on a rainy day, no ones in a good mood? they might not be in a bad mood, they just arent in a good one. rainy days are just depressing overall. you cant look forward to going out and doing anything because you're just gonna get cold and wet.

take this morning for instance. i got up (late as usual) and looked outside and just got disappointed. had to put on my coat and go out in this shitty, cold weather. immediately i was just aggrivated. so now, once class is over, i have to walk back in it. dumb. i cant even skip my other classes because i have stuff to turn in. dumber.

in other news, i previewed paramores new album Brand New Eyes in iTunes. i am in need of a copy. i dont have money, and cant stream it because of the iowa state network. so, if anyone owns/has it, let me know.

i sang for the first time in front of a person not named chandra the other day. felt awkward. especially when i didnt know the words and it screwed us up. i dont know if ill be ready for open mic night. mostly because im probably going to chicken out. i could do a speech in front of a million people and be fine. but sing? idk.

hopefully it rains that day. that'll give me an excuse not to go.

ambition

i need ambition. i need it in the worst way. i sit at this computer, watch videos, look and facebook and twitter, read columns by writers way better than i can ever hope to be, and think about how i should be studying.

i just cant find the ambition. my laziness has reached a new peak. today, while in the library, instead of studying for a speech test that was a few hours away, i watched tv shows on my computer. how much more ridiculous can i be?

and the worst part is, i know ill be disappointed when my grade reflects the work i put in. itll be worse cuz i have no one and nothing else to blame but myself. theres just so much more id rather be doing then reading about what some guy from tidewater virginia did 200 years ago. id rather be racing. id rather be listening to music. id rather be writing a sports column once a week and nothing else.

but to get all those things i have to put up with the grind of class and studying and tests. it just sucks, i guess. last year, i didnt want the school year to end because i loved it down here. i didnt really have much to look forward to that summer, or so i thought. then racing happened. now, with a new kart and newer equipment with the kart, i want the summer to be here now. i still love it here, and i love being in college and on my own. but racing, and everything surrounding it, is like my drug. i need it. i need it to distract me from the fact that i have no girlfriend, a shitty job, no money, and no ambition--except when i race.

i know you probably dont give a shit about racing. or that i like it. or that i do it. but hopefully you can understand needing something in your life for an escape. it just sucks that my escape is 8 months away. til then, ive just got to find something to take its place.

PS, if you havent heard, the bird is the word.

travis barker

he's the best drummer alive. i dont care who esle you think it might be. it's travis fucking barker.



p.s. i cant wait for the blinkumentary. should be amazing.

this is me racing this summer (im #10). its me proving i suck when i need to perform well (witness the getting passed after i take the lead). my sister video taped this. the race was a double show, and this was the first of the two. i won the second one, but my sister left after the first. cant say i blame her.

motivation

so i need some motivation. lately ive been a lazy pile of shit. despite having little to no money, i have yet to hunt for a job--apart from applying at fareway. none of my classes seem to make me want to try. at all.

i really need to break the cycle, because if i dont, there's a good chance i will end up in a bad situation. it seems as though all i can do now is buy things i cant afford and write songs. or, as ive stated before, poems that sort of look like songs. i tweeted mark hoppus to take a look at them on here. theres at least a 99% chance he never does, but it would be the best moment of my life if he did and tweeted back--even if he said he didnt like em.

lately there have been different things that have presented themselves as points of interest for me. writing is still a huge part of me, but the fact that songs are what interests me right now is strange to me. but the other part, that may be even weirder, is that ive kind of wanted to sing lately. see, i could speak in front of a thousand people no problem. but sing? not so much.

a friend also got a role as a stand-in on a movie recently. it made me realize that i miss my high school plays. not the plays themselves, but performing in them. i halfway want to try out for a play or something here at school. but then again, the fact that i'm a pile keeps that from happening.

but in the end, at least i know i want to do more while im here than write articles and play basketball once in a while. itd be cool to say ive actually branched out. its be cool to find a girl too.

so heres the latest song. i dont know if its good or not. but tell me the truth.

"Worth It"

I know when I see you,
I know when you speak
I know I can trust you,
Your words set me free
Like God up above, you know what I am
Just a boy you look past, A boy who’s in love
I don’t care what it takes, only what it will mean
For you to be with me, for me to be seen

So bring on the thunder, Bring on the rain
Bring on the hurt, and bring on the pain
Let’s make that jump now,
C’mon just make your move
Cuz baby it’s worth it, it’s worth it for love

I swear I can do this,
I swear I can go
Be more than you are,
be more than I know
A world up in flames, uncertainty abounds
My life sometimes feels like a ship run aground
So I sing this lament, so that someone will hear
And maybe can tackle that deep seeded fear

So bring on the thunder, bring on the rain
Bring on the hurt, and bring on the pain
Let’s make that jump now,
C’mon just make your move
Cuz baby it’s worth it, it’s worth it for love

Everywhere I go,
In all that I know,
One cure still exists
And you know what it is
If you could just realize,
And not hide behind,
That wall you have up,
Then babe, we could fly

So bring on that thunder, bring on that rain
Bring on that hurt, and bring on that pain
And we will pull through,
We will make this thing last
Put love in our future, and pain in our past

Cuz baby it’s worth it, worth it for love
Baby it’s worth it, worth it for love

champ

i went racing tonight. i didnt win the race, but i did run well, and finished 3rd out of 8 karts to clinch the 2009 points championship at that racetrack. it is my first championship of my racing "career" and i couldnt feel more vanilla about it.

the track i won the championship at, Cherokee, IA, is a low-fund racetrack, and didnt have a trophy or even a tshirt for any of the champions from the various classes.

i didnt even get acknowledged by the track promoter or officials. only the racer i beat (by 1 point) congratulated me, along with a few others in my class. it felt good, but not as good as it could've.

oh well. at least i know i did it. and i already cant wait for next season.