just when i thought i was out..

even in the worst of the three godfather movies (and by worst i mean least good) pacino is a badass.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPw-3e_pzqU&NR=1

aside from sohpia coppola ("no, dad! no!" give me a break...), this movie was good. the first two were just too good.

freakin' shit

lebrons game winner had a newscast freakin' shit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvTsT_zPGm4

CAVS WIN!!! CAVS WIN!!

haha

summer.. or is it?

i was online today and realized that ive kind of lost touch with pop culture reality. i dont know much of anything going on in movies or tv, aside from the fact that the smallville season finale pissed me off. i work all the fucking time, so i rarely have time to watch tv or cruise the internet. probably why i havent been on here in 9 days. it doesnt even feel like summer to me.

So i heard there was some chick on american idol who semi-stripped in the finale. had i seen that live, more that likely i wouldve voted for her, purely because shes the only girl (adam lambert excluded, but ill get to him in a second) and shes attractive.

I hadnt seen any episodes of idol this season, nor have i watched since carrie underwood won (still the hottest woman in country music). i saw on the tmz show on fox one night that adam lambert could become the first gay idol winner. come to find out he didnt. i was actually surprised. i figured people would rally around his being gay and on such a popular show. he hasnt actually said if hes gay or not, but c'mon. hard to believe lance bass wasnt there cheering him on.

(maybe he was, idk, like i said i didnt watch.)

either way, the only reason i even knew his name was because people were bitching about him losing on twitter. yes, i twitter, and even though i cant get away from it, i still think its the dumbest invention yet. especially since oprahs on it now.it was on there that i found out shawn johnson won dwts. met her once. she was short, spoiled, and looked like she didnt want to be there. she'll end up in rehab in 5 years when her 15 min of fame are up, im calling it right now. either that or she'll get her own reality show.

oh, and for the record, 21st Century Breakdown is a good record, and dont even start with me alo. listen to it on rhapsody for free. 21 guns (track 16) is awesome.

fin.

Working my life away

Got my grades today. A, B, B, B-. Not the best, but i'll take it.

Since i got home ive been working non stop. 30 hours so far this week, and it's only thursday. Yeah, the money'll be nice, but i wont get to use any of it for the shit i want to use it for because the great Iowa State University wants all of my money. Kind of a lot frustrating.

I drive a delivery truck, so i have a lot of time to think about shit, and me having to pay iowa state comes up a lot.

I get to wondering about the way our government is trying to repair our economy. Theyre sticking money in banks and other things, obviously making an effort. However, i ask one question, and it has a rather simple answer. Who will be the largest group of people to spend money, therefore stimulating the economy, in the future? College students.

Why then, is our government making it harder for us to get an education by taking away student loan opportunities. I understand that if they put too much money into students' education that there wont be jobs for us when we graduate, but surely something can be done.

Also, why not bail out the automakers? Dont give them money directly, but give the people a credit with which to get a new vehicle. Say the government buys cars for qualified Americans who've paid their taxes and such. Wouldn't that sustain, if not create, jobs for the automakers?

Maybe i'm naive and my questions and ideas are stupid, but the stuff ive said seems like common sense to me. Then again, those people are in power for a reason. I just hope theyre not the wrong reasons.

In any case, i'll get to work my life away regardless of bailout money or the creation of jobs. Like my mom said today; welcome to the real world. Nice to fucking meet you.

Friday. Please.

So I took my Stat final today, and i have to be honest, i dont know how well it went. I don't think i failed by any means, but it definitely didn't go as well as i'd hoped.

I realized today, though, that i'm scared as shit. I'm scared to fail in everything. I'm scared to take Geology because im not prepared in the least. I should've studied all day, but i didnt. I should be studying now, but im not. Im putting it off because im scared.

Well, fuck being scared. I dont want to feel this way. I know i'll feel relieved and the pressure will be off by 4 pm tomorrow, but that doesnt do anything for me now. A friend of mine wants to be relaxed again. He wants summer. He wants the same things i do. I think everyone wants those things.

There's no doubt in my mind that ill be fine in 24 hours. Why then, can't those 24 hours go by faster? Is it a type of punishment? Im not really sure, but i do know that theres a reason i feel this way.

I had a conversation with someone this weekend about being open with people. Im good friends with this person, at least i consider him a good friend, and he knows he can come to me whenever. But still, i know how he feels. He doesnt like to talk about him because he doesnt like to--because he doesnt want to affect how he feels about himself.

I get that completely. I dont want to talk about myself for other reasons. I dont think people care about me, aside from my family. I can talk up and down about my life, about my fears and concerns, about who i want to be, and no matter what the person im talking to says, a part of me is screaming that they dont really care.

I know i have friends. I know people care. But, that doubt is still there.

I've never had a best friend. I've never had someone need me to talk to them. I've never been in love. I've never had a real girlfriend.

I want so bad for all of those things. I know my life is good. I've given those reasons before. At the same time, the things listed leave me feeling a little empty.

So, i'll tell that friend: you're not the only one who feels that way. We both feel empty. Im scared because i need to succeed to feel less empty. Okay, maybe not succeed, but at least not fail. Either way, only time will tell.

'Til then i guess ill just have to keep on keeping on. Something has to fill me up eventually.

last day of classes/lookin forward to the weekend

So I'm sitting in my last class of this year. Kick ass. No more formulas or conjugations or learning about rocks. Ive said it before to people, and ill say it again. Who the fuck cares about rocks (aside from jane dawson, obviously)??

Point is, after today and next week i can forget about homework and tests for a couple months. Apart from stat and geology, finals shouldnt be too awful, and im in no danger of failing anything, unlike others i know. I'd say i feel bad for those people, but id be lying because they know as well as i do how they got there. Not to say i want to see them fail, i just wont worry for them.

After this class, i should be able to start my weekend off the right way. 99 berries are waiting for me in my room, and there may not be any left after tonight. Its a friend of mines birthday, so it should be a good night. The only way it could be more interesting is if eric hits me again.

By the way, Bulls-Celtics is the greatest series in NBA history, bar-none. Game seven is going to be epic (and not long and boring).

Oh, and also, I love spring. Short shorts and skirts. Enough said.