my first one

Well, this whole blogging thing is new to me. I'm writing to no one in particular, but i figure i should give it a shot.

I'm only a little over a week from being done with my first year of college. Holy shit. Where the hell did the time go?

I sit and think about it, and it was only a year ago that i was about to embark on this journey we call college, and i didn't really think too far into the future at the time. I just went with the flow i guess, figuring it would all just work itself out in the end.

A year later, I now know its completely different. I have to look ahead because if i dont, i'll end up like some people i know. You know em too, the ones who float by, dont work hard (or at all) and will ultimately rely on mommy and daddy to bail them out, although i dont have that luxury.

A lot of times those are the same people who have all the money in the world, or at least a fair share of it, and have the liberty to fail and get bailed out. I dont have that chance. I'm here on my own, paying my own way, and have no room for error. If i fail im done, stuck driving a truck for the rest of my life. I guess at the end of the day im just a little bitter. I try not to dwell on it because all it does is put me in a bad mood.

But at the end of my first year, I cant even enjoy my summer, because i have to go and earn enough money to come back to school. I'll have three jobs this summer, and while i enjoy each of them, working 50-60 hours a week is not at all appealing. I'm 19 dammit, i shouldnt have to be fucking working all the time. That's whats so frustrating about watching these other people who dont have to work and get to have fun all summer, then waste what they have when they get to school.

It's not all bad in my world though. Im not dying, i dont have cancer, i dont live in darfur or china or mexico, i dont have the swine flu (although i think andrew does). I have a beautiful little neice who, when i see her, makes all the shit that is wrong in my life seem insignificant. I have a good family who worries too much about me. Overall, life is good, and i'm thankful for that.

So, be thankful for what you do have, even if it is satisfying sometimes to just unload all of your problems to someone or on here. You may have a lot of worries, or just a few big ones, but just remember, it could be worse. I know a lot of people who would love to have my problems.